A LETTER FROM JOHN TO HIS DOCTOR

Cindy Mayher, Executive Director of The Parmenter Foundation and a Honoring Choices Community Partner, shares this letter with us from John Murray whom she has known for many years. Edie Murray, John’s wife, was a colleague and good friend of Ms. Mayher.

John and Edie Murray met in Scotland.  Upon relocating to Massachusetts, they were married in 1980. John always assumed that he would predecease Edie and she would speak on his behalf for the kind of end-of-life care that he wanted. In 2005, Edie was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  At that point, John realized that he would likely outlive Edie, and that he needed to communicate his own care wishes to his physician.The following simple but elegant statement of what he valued in life and his wishes for treatment was shared with his physician.

Mindful of God’s Providence

I, John Murray, recognizing the tremendous growth in medical technology and taking into account my age – 56 years and contrary to the cultural norm – I am old.  Therefore, I am obliged to think about my own demise.  In light of the somewhat murky legal standing that seems to prevail, I would like at this time to make my own thoughts clear as much as any layman can.  I have spoken to my doctor, and have made known to her my wish to have the very least amount of high tech intervention.  The phrase used was “bare bones”.

Whosoever reads these words do not be misled as to my competence or intent.  I have thought about this as much as any layman can.  I do not wish any sophistry as to what is left out.  I cannot stress enough my desire to have my last days kept very simple.  Mindful of the graces I have received, I take pen to paper as these issues could be thought contentious.  Make no mistake I am glad to have lived and wish to take my leave with a minimum of fuss.  So with a peaceful heart and a tranquil mind I sign, John Murray.

Dated: 4-1-2005

Updated: 5-23-2010.